First Aid

After a four-day course, a sequence of nightmares about dead bodies, and two exams, I am now a fully qualified First Aider at work.

Although it sounds really stupid, I never really thought about what a huge responsibility it is to be a First Aider. I only signed up to the course because it sounded interesting but now I've realised that if someone were to drop dead this minute (pleeeease don't....), I'd be duty-bound to leap to the floor and give them CPR (after all the appropriate checks, of course). Which is a pretty huge responsibility.

It's made me look at everyone in a different light. I've found myself sitting on the tube forcing myself to come to terms with the fact that I would and could give mouth-to-mouth to anyone of those weirdos. I've thought through every possible scenario I can at home and at work (apologies to all the people I've killed off in my head just so I can practice CPR).

I learnt all kinds of exciting things about the human body and the wonderful (and gross) things it can do. Probably the most important thing I learnt was just how important it is to protect someone's airway. You can die within 3 minutes if your airway's blocked but virtually anything else would take much longer. The second most important thing is how vital it is to stay calm. And the most surreal thing I learnt was that if you sing 'Nelly the Elephant' while doing chest compressions, you'll get to exactly fifteen by the end of the first verse.

At the moment I feel all fired up with my four days of knowlege (which, let's face it, practically makes me a doctor) but in reality I'll probably have one cut finger to deal with for the next three years.