Last week I was in Portugal. Last week I had a suntan. Last week I got up late, went for a walk by the sea, ate fresh fish and local vegetables, frolicked in the pool, ate ice-cream and went to bed. Last week the biggest decision I had to make was which factor suncream to wear.
This week it's cold. I have my period. I had a job interview on Monday and found out I hadn't got in on Wednesday. I was stuck on the Victoria line for an hour. My shower broke and I don't have enough money to fix it.
The first person to invent a time machine wins a biscuit.