Tuesday, May 30, 2006

I don't want to be selfish, darling, but it's me me me!

Please re-arrange the following items to re-create my fantastic hen night last Saturday:

- An 'L' plate
- A veil made of toilet roll
- The phone number of a man named Vinny
- A photograph of me sunbathing topless on a beach. Aged three.
- Flavoured vodka
- A gorilla-gram
- Devil's horns
- Heart-shaped balloons and a red glittery curtain to walk through
- The following exchange:

Me: "What's a nice guy like you doing in a place like this?"
Him: "Having a drink with my boyfriend. Piss off."

- 'Like a Virgin'
- Penis earrings
- Chocolate iced gems
- Falling asleep next to the toilet
- Buck's Fizz
- A picture of a naked man with "this is what you could have had" written on it
- A red feather boa
- A flasher
- Banana flavoured condoms
- Dancing while standing on a chair
- Cocktails
- 20 fantastic friends

Never let it be said that my sisters aren't 100% classsy ladies who know how to organise a sophisticated evening.

Wednesday, May 03, 2006


My new favourite thing in the whole wide world (apart from my boyfriend, a toy monkey called Micawber and Mars Bars) is Green Wing.

I half watched it last series but this year have actually sat down and devoted some serious time to watching each episode. I even tear myself away from my gin and tonic in the pub at 8:00 to sharp to make sure I'm home in time.

If you've watched one episode and didn't like it, please try again. It really will grow on you until you find yourself answering all questions in the style of a crow.

Just one last thought from Staff Liaison Officer Sue White:

"Do I look like a mug? Am I made from china? Do I live on a shelf or on a little tree? Would you like to put your lips to my rim? You may answer the last question. The others were rhetorical."