Monday, December 27, 2004


So... I'm staying at my parents for Christmas and we cleared out the loft today. I always find throwing stuff away really difficult. If it wasn't for my bullying mother I'd probably be living like one of those people on Life of Grime with the hallways stacked up with catfood tins and old newspapers. I bid a tearful goodbye to the following things:
Long may they rest in peace...

1) Boglin. I loved my boglin when I was a kid. For anyone who didn't have one, it's a glove puppet made of rubber with horns, creepy movable eyes and a lot of warts. It's only now that I realise just how sinister it must have looked to see a ten year old girl playing with one of those things.

2) Half my panda collection. Throughout my childhood I collected all things panda-related. Today it was a fond farewell to my panda rucksack, panda slipper (yes, singular - I'm not sure where the other one went), panda jumper (surely that was trendy once, surely) and several daft-looking cuddly toys with crossed eyes. You may have noticed that I said I got rid of half my collection. The other half has been sneaked back into the loft until I've summoned up enough emotional strength to go cold turkey.

3) My recorder. I spent many a happy hour in my youth playing with the style and finesse of any young recorder-player.

4) My toy soldiers - the little green ones that were on Toy Story. My poor, brave boys...

I'm going to have a lie down now. It's been a very stressful day.

Friday, December 24, 2004


Ho ho ho. It's Christmas everybody! I am filled with Christmas cheer (and a lot of snot).

Christmas has got to be my favourite time of the year. Celebrating religious festivals when you're an atheist is great - you can dispense with all that god stuff and just have a good old knees up. And I love the fact that shops put out their Xmas stock in October. Why not? I would have the whole of Oxford Street covered in tinsel all year if I had my way.

I have visions of myself in twenty years time with giant plastic reindeer on my roof and fake snow in my garden. I'll have knitted little Father Christmas hats for all the garden gnomes (of which I will have several) and will be wearing reindeer antlers and comedy flashing earings.

And I like that image.

Thursday, December 23, 2004


Well, having recovered from the excitement of seeing my first post, I'm going to say hello. I've decided in a moment of almost cataleptic boredom to start a blog, although how long it'll last is anyone's guess.

I'm going to start by listing the most fantastic things in the world:

1) Gone with the wind. Great film, great book. Not as girly as you'd imagine.
2) The X-Files. Long live Agents Mulder, Scully, Doggett and Reyes. The truth is out there, trust no-one, etc etc
3) Dear Barbara. The agony aunt for the Paddington Times. Today her column included classics such as 'I bonked my best friend's husband', 'Getting paid for wild sex!' and 'It may be an anti-climax'. Classy stuff.
4) Chocolate. Anyone who doesn't like chocolate is a liar and should have their eyes gouged out.
5) Doing the ironing while listening to an Elvis CD.
6) Living in London.

There you go. My eclectic mix of fantastic things in the world.


Ahem. Hello. Testing testing.