The People are Real

Our most recent way to fritter away money intended for wedding and/or deposit on a house was to buy a DigiBox for the telly. I wasn't that keen at first, but now I've got it, it means more to me than my own mother.

You can pause live television. Please take a second to appreciate how amazing that is. You can pause. Live. Television.

Respect.

You can also record programmes directly onto the system without needing videotapes. So if you're out one evening and miss Eastenders, you can watch it with a hangover in the morning.

But the most impressive thing so far is my rediscovery of ITV2 and of Judge Judy.

There is nothing more exciting than turning on the TV to hear an American voice booming out, "Meet. Judge Judy Sheindlin. The people are real. The judgements are final."



Judy's cases are generally of the Jerry Springer variety ("my daughter / husband / flatmate's boyfriend broke my car / ate my dog / fell in love with me and then decided after a while that it wasn't working out and left me in a totally reasonable manner, and I would now like to sue them for $10,000."

Judy is one of those no-nonsense people who likes to tell people to take responsibility for themselves ("You're sixteen. You were stoopid. But I'm afraid no judge in the land will give you $10,000 for being stoopid.")Her new book is titled, and I swear I didn't make this up, 'Don't Pee on My Leg and Tell Me It's Raining: America's Toughest Family Court Judge Speaks Out'. Her theatrical looks (of either horror or amusement - she only has two emotions) to the courtroom (and li'l old us at home) tell you that she would much rather be on Broadway.

But what I love best about the show is the grudging respect shown to Judge Judy. The toughest ganstas and the meanest hos will still shuffle their feet and look sheepish while saying "No, your honour". And this respect is further demonstrated in the last section of the programme, when each party takes it in turns to talk to camera ("I knew she was a lying bitch. I knew all along. And Judge Judy could see she was a lying bitch aswell") while the lying bitch waits patiently in the background until it is her turn.

I've always been a fan of daytime TV - This Morning and Watercolour Challenge both rating particularly high - but I have to admit that American daytime TV has its head above the rest.