My parents, like myself, are creatures of habit. Every Sunday they go for a walk round the more pictureque bits of London, and every Saturday they go shopping. Yesterday, stuck for something to do, I went shopping with them to Bluewater. I've never been to Bluewater before (a shopping centre in Kent for the equally uninitiated) and it was so good it almost made me want to get a car (almost - I'm still not convinced I can be trusted to be responsible for the lives of myself or others).
It was just like shopping on Oxford Street but minus the pollution, beggars, stupid slow tourists, charity muggers and traffic, so, infact, nothing like Oxford Street at all.
I did briefly consider that places like this, full of chain stores, could well be putting smaller shops out of business but then I pushed that thought out of my head and sat down to another Frappucino.
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Only downside of places like Bluewater is they are full of nasty little chavs. I was in Meadowhall this Saturday and they were everywhere. Enough to put one off one's frappuccino.
By the way, is it just me or are northerners a lot more inventive than southerners when it comes to making up nicknames for these places? Meadowhall becomes Meadowhell, Merry Hill becomes Merry Hell and so on. I have yet to hear of a nickname for Lakeside or Bluewater or anywhere.
Also by the way. Becky, if you happen to be reading this: Why is it I am not allowed to comment on your blog?
Lakeside = Chavside
Bluewater = Bluechav
For the ultimate shopping experience, those with the burning desire to spank some of their hard-earned should head to Trago Mills. It's a shoppers paradise - full of magic, mystery and mayhem, punctuated by an abundance of 'barjanus' purchase opportunities - go now!!
The reason for the lack of need for a nickname for Lakeside is because 'Lakeside' has become part of the southern english dialect as a word meaning 'experience for which there is no comparison and no adequate therapy'.
what's an Essex girl's favourite wine?
I wanna go'a Lakesiiiiiiiide.....
You wanna go to Street. It's a town in Somerset that's all discount outlets, Levi's, Monsoon, M&S, all the high street shops, but they have to be at least 30% off. it's outdoors and totally chav free. They don't have chavs in somerset, they have 'Yokels'.
Places like lakeside et al are dangerous for me.
I was hired by a friend, personal shopper-stylee, to help her shop in Bluewater for girly things (i.e. anything that wasn't a pair of trainers) and we spent 10 hours there; 10am-8pm, and only managed two sides of the triangle on the bottom floor.
And I ended up buying shoes...again.
by-the-bye, I have no idea why you can't comment on my blog linz, perhaps the techno-tastic pepps could aid you?
Lindsey can't comment on your blog because you've chosen the option of only allowing bloggers to post. You fool.
I can't recommend Bicester Village shopping centre highly enough. It's a discount outlet shopping village with all sorts of posh crap cheap. And they've got snipers on the roof to take out the chavs.
Pile it high. Pile it higher. Lay it on thick. Cars full of the great unwashed ready to lay down their plastic in search of a short lived material high.
Shopping Village. Shopping. Village.
Abandon the towns. Let them rot in charity shops and fly posters. Shut down the corner store. It's all here. We live in the village now.
Walk round your old stomping ground. See the place where you used to buy bonfire toffee and sliced white bread?
No?
I didn't think so.
Seductive stuff, chrome.
Well it's a good thing someone is doing something to rid us of this pestilence. Now finally I will be able to sleep at night.
I slept for 12 hours last night...it must've started already.
Check out this website
http://www.chavtowns.co.uk
It even has an entry specifically for the Ilford area...
http://www.chavtowns.co.uk/modules.php?name=News&file=article&sid=871
...although as I told Linz yesterday I think it's a wee bit on the harsh side!
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