I saw an advert last night in which one of the characters said something along the lines of "we know that mums care about their children eating healthily". Now, is it just me, or is that kind of statement not acceptable anymore? What was going on in those advertisers' tiny minds when they decided to use the word "mum" over the word "parent"? Do they really think that mothers have nothing better to do than wake up in a cold sweat worrying about which brand of bread their children eat? And do fathers not give a shit about their children's health and spend their spare time rubbing sugar into their gums? I know it seems like such a small thing but that kind of casual sexism really winds me up.
I had a conversation with someone at work once who, despite being quite senior, had always assumed that she would quit work one day and become a housewife. Now, that's fine if that's the agreement that she's reached with her partner, and it's the arrangement that works best for them, but then she followed the comment up by saying that women make better parents anyway. Apparently it's something to do with hormones. I completely disagree with that. I think that's the kind of statement which does a total disservice not only to fathers but also to adoptive parents. When I was growing up both my parents worked and a lot of the day-to-day 'parenting' stuff was done by my grandma. Now, unless I'm actually living out an episode of Eastenders, she didn't give birth to me. But she was still a bloody good parent.
And, if ever you think that we're living in a modern world without sexism, take a look in the Argos catalogue and look at which toys they have the boys playing with, and which ones they give to the girls. Interesting.
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4 comments:
I 'ad no oidea you was one o'them there whingin' women types, woman.
Criest!
Go raise a child.
You have all these great ideals when you're about to become a parent. And then you get enormous guilt when you don't live up to them. Ultimately you just have to settle for what ever gives you the most sleep and does the least harm. My boy went mad on Thomas the Tank Engine and Transformers without any encouragement from me.
He had a pink baby toy for a few months before he swapped it for a dinosaur. My girl is only really interested in pink and princesses, even though I got her a toy fort to go with them, it is a toy fort full of princesses and ponies; the toy soldiers having long since been evicted.
I was obviously a freakish child then. I used to play with cars, trains and toy soldiers. I don't think I had a doll until I was much older and then it was a gift from someone.
What bothers me the most about children's toys are the pretend ironing boards, hoovers and ovens which always seem to have little girls playing with them on the front. I think it's seriously dangerous for girls to grow up thinking that housework and raising children are all they're good for.
I suppose that all children want to emulate their parents, and maybe that feeling is stronger for the parent who's the same gender as you. My parents never sat very comfortably in traditional 'masculine' and 'feminine' boxes so maybe that has something to do with it. Not that my mum's butch or my dad wears green carnations - they're just very balanced in their roles in the house.
It is crap. What's next? My first database? My first earnings gap? My first tax return? A little boiler suit to go with the little plastic kitchen so your big brother can stick his head in the little plastic washing machine, suck his breath in through his teeth and say "We're going to need My First Replacement Drum"?
If you want children to learn this stuff, teach them on the real thing. that way there's cake at the end of it, the ironing's done, and the kids feel a warm glow of growed upness. It only lasts a few years so it's best to work them hard while it does. Never did me any harm...
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