Isn't it weird how, even when you're really not interested in a television programme, if they put it on often enough you always end up watching? The last few weeks I seem to keep catching The House of Tiny Tearaways with Dr Tanya Byron. In this programme Dr Tanya (I like saying that name, nearly as much as I like saying Judge Judy) teaches parents how to turn their children from screaming little monsters into well behaved little things that play the piano and help the aged.
As much as I fully enjoy taking the piss, I actually think her methods of bringing up children are really good. She doesn't let parents hit their kids and instead uses lots of praise (with the parents looking really stupid saying "oooh, look how WELL you've eaten that mashed potato!") and time out (one minute for every year of their life. Does that mean I can shut my boyfriend in the bathroom for 24 minutes if he's naughty?)
What I find unbelievable is the number of parents who hit their kids when they're naughty and then wonder how they could possibly have turned out violent. Now, I know I'm on seriously dodgy ground here, seeing as I don't have any kids of my own yet, but I really find it hard to understand why someone would want to hit their children. Obviously, under stress we all do things we regret, but some parents actually decide when their kids are born to use violence as an ongoing and consistent method of discipline. How can that possibly be right? Apart from being nonsensical (presumably you sometimes have to hit a kid to punish them for hitting another kid), it's just really cruel.
And while I'm on the subject, I hate the word 'smacking'. If you hit your kids, you hit your kids. If you think you've made the right decision about discipline, don't hide behind a cozy euphemism.
I've got myself all wound up now. I think I'm going to go and hit someone.
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3 comments:
Hmm, what I want to know is what is the emotional state of the parent who smacks or hits the child? I am NOT in anyway excusing such behaviour by saying this, but having an awful temper myself I can understand the temptation towards violence when angry much more than I can calculated violence of any sort.
As to your objection to the term 'smack' Megan, I disagree. Smacking in my mind is a very specific action with the palm of the hand in contrast say to being punched or kicked. Smacking is hitting yes, but it is a specific type of hitting just as punching or kicking is. Thus I do not see it as a euphemistic term and neither does my dictionary.
However I do see a distinction of degree between smacking and other types of hitting. I was smacked occasionally as a child but I do not consider that I was abused!!! The very thought is laughable!!!!If I was punched or kicked however I might think otherwise. What upset me most on the occasions of being smacked was not the physical pain which I can barely remember but the emotional trauma of knowing my action was disapproved of in some way, particularly if I thought such disapproval was unjustified. And this is not child abuse either but a fundamental part of childhood that we all experience in some way or another - we've all felt our parents have accused us unjustly or been unsympathetic at some point!!!
Having said all that I think I would avoid smacking children of my own. I say 'think' because to be honest this the first time I've given the question any serious thought. I also think that where there are other means of discipline available they should be used and if a parent is constantly smacking a child then this is a sign of something seriously wrong somewhere, just as it is in the case of the parent who is always shouting.
I agree actually - particularly with your last point.
I suppose my problem with the word 'smack' is that you tend not to hear it when it's an adult hitting an adult which I feel justifies it somehow.
It is a good point, but it's still a euphemism of a kind, cos if i hit another adult with the palm of the hand it would be called a (damn good well deserved) slap. Unless it was my husband, then it would be a spanking. As to the number of minutes on the naughty spot, for anyone over the age of 18 you double thier age, and if it's a man you round up to the next full hour due to the 'liklihood of him learning at this late stage' factor. Or 'in shed for duration of chick flick' as it is more commonly known...
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