I've just got back from a week at Center Parcs. Now, I was slightly concerned about this before I went. Being a lazy bugger I didn't really relish the thought of spending a week surrounded by screaming children while attempting to abseil / rockclimb / bungee my way to serenity.
Despite spending most of the week feeling ill (I got period pain pretty much as soon as I stepped through the door of the villa because my womb is indeed a bastard) I ended up having a fantastic time.
The subtropical swimming paradise was great and I loved going down the rapids and slides (although I did have to go through several degrees of terror the first couple of times). I learnt how to play pool. I sat serenely on a pedalo looking at ducks while my boyfriend and sister pedalled away. I had a very eventful night bowling - firstly when I got a strike by lobbing the ball so hard that it rebounded and came back up the lane, and secondly by nursing my sister after she trapped her finger between two bowling balls and it went purple.
I signed up for a line dancing class. I was a little concerned about this, but when I turned up and saw that half of the class had purple rinses and dodgy hips, I actually ended up really enjoying myself.
The spa was fantastic - three hours of visiting various saunas and steam rooms. It felt ever so slightly like I was in a bordello but then that's never a bad thing.
My biggest hurdle was bike riding. A few years ago I decided to re-learn how to ride a bike so that when I moved to China I could zip along the little Chinese streets wearing a big straw hat and a long moustache. Sadly, I have to hold my hands up and admit that I am the one person in the world who forgot how to ride a bike. It's true. I can't understand it either. But I literally had to re-learn it from scratch. So, it was with some trepidation that I picked up my bike from the cycle centre. I forced everyone to leave the villa and then my boyfriend tried to coach me on the art of cycle riding once again. To my relief, and possibly thanks to my boyfriend's straight face and genuine encouragement, I didn't have any problems at all. This was good all round. It's tiring being the only person in the world unable to do something.
So, I've returned refreshed, covered in bruises and with 'My Achey Breaky Heart' going round my head, and would definitely go again.
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I had this awful dream that I was DeeJaying line-dancing music outdoors, and all these old people started shambling in from behind bushes and trees.
They all shuffled onto a tennis court until they filled every inch of space, and then began a kind of half-dance, half-zombified wobbling. It was very disturbing. I woke with "Dance the Night Away" in my head and a pronounced fear of growing old.
This will have been about Thursday night. I do hope I wasn't Remote Viewing again. I hate it when I do that. Especially since I don't believe in it.
you should see Meg belly dancing. I have. (snigger)
I want to go dancing! Lets all go dancing! But seriously, Meg, if you MUST line dance, please allow me to furnish you with some actually good music. 'Honky Tonk' by BR5-49 would be perfect for line dancing...
WHEN HAVE I EVER DONE BELLY DANCING??? Had I been drinking?
Maybe you didn't think you were....
Sorry! That's so mean. I just can't stop myself...
Miaow! Someone hide her pet cow until she's ready to play nicely.
My cow is protected by a vicious bear and a squadron of poisonous toads.
The incident in question was post our Leighton Buzzard extravaganza. Leafy made us do it.
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